When my baby boy, Jimin was born, I knew I needed a creative ritual.
Not something elaborate. Not something performative. Something steady. Something that was mine.
So I set out to make a project.
For 100 days post-partum, I have tied a series of 매듭 (maedup) knots each day. The knots hold the emotional tone of that day through colour and form. Alongside them, I write a short reflection, sometimes a few lines, sometimes a small paragraph, beginning with:
“Today I want to remember…”
Learning 매듭 (Maedup) in Korea
During my pregnancy, while we were living in Korea, I took a comprehensive 매듭 (maedup) class spanning months. I was drawn to the simplicity of line. To repetition. To doing something tactile with my hands.
You don’t need language to learn 매듭; you watch, you copy, you try again. Cord moves through your fingers and gradually becomes structure. The quiet concentration of it felt grounding.
Knots as Connection
매듭 is a traditional Korean knotting craft, centuries old, historically used in clothing, ceremonial and everyday objects. After Jimin was born, the practice deepened. Tying these knots became a way of rooting myself in Korea, the place of his birth, and connecting to his Korean heritage through my own hands.
In Korean culture, the first 100 days of a baby’s life hold special significance. The 백일 (baek-il) marks survival, resilience, and the hope of a long life. This project unfolds in the quiet lead-up to his 백일 — a personal and material way of honouring that threshold.
Colour, Form, and Feeling
Each day I tie a small series of knots. Some days they are larger and more involved. Some days they are sparse and simple. The variations mirror my experience and my emotions.
Colour carries meaning in this project:
Greens for grounding.
Blues for openness.
Pinks for tenderness and love.
Yellows for joy and happiness.
There is exhaustion here. Pain. Hormones. Loneliness. The long nights and the uncertainty of recovery.
But there is also sweeping lake views. The weight of him sleeping on our chest. Quiet sofa moments in the dark. Help from our village. Laughter. The fragile, overwhelming tenderness of this new life, and all the moment I don’t want to forget.
A Practice of Becoming
The first 100 days after birth are disorienting. Your body shifts. Your identity stretches. You need more than you imagined you would.
These knots are anchors. They allow me to document and hold the complexity of these experiences, joy and grief, frustration and awe. They are a way of remembering the texture of these first days, before they blur.
I now feel far enough away from the first days to start sharing Over the coming weeks, I will be sharing the full series here — the knots and the reflections that accompany them.
This is 100 Days of Post-Partum.
A daily 매듭.
A practice of becoming.
